Feelings, Affect and Emotions
Charles and Barbara Whitfield    

                                                                                    

Empathy and Emotional Health in Children

We can describe Empathy as `feeling through our skin' what the other person is feeling. Recently empathy has also been described as the deciding variable in whether a child is abused by a parent or not. No matter how much stress there is in a relationship between parent and child-- if the parent feels empathy for that child, he or she will likely not seriously abuse the child.

Every parent looses their control sometimes. But it is their level of empathy that will stop dangerous behavior. When a parent tells us, “I love my child,” we can ask, “tell me what that means.” And then look for empathy in their answer.

Our children learn empathy from us. While it is not easy, we can model this for our children:

Seven Traits to Teach Empathy

Traits

Parent modeling and mirroring child (birth to 5)

1. Confidence

Mastery and control over something

2. Curiosity

Tied to above. Trying something different

3. Intentionally

My life can have an impact. Feeling significant

4. Relatedness

I can engage you and be understood (not necessarily agreeing but understanding).

5. Self -control

An inner voice that says, “Don't do that.”

Has to be developed. Child learns empathy for self saying, “What will happen to me?” .

6. Capacity to Communicate

Capacity to share ideas and feelings--not just facts.

7. Cooperativeness

Balancing needs with the needs of others

Compiled from Naomi Griffith 2000

A child's openness to being disciplined is in direct proportion to the amount of physical affection we give them.